Corporate Troubles
by Kawaii Chibi Kitty Angel
Summary: Seto Kaiba's kept a secret from the world, but how long do secrets really last...? Especially with a certain blonde puppy chasing your tail, instead of his? Rated for coarse language, evil media, randomness, nudity, crossdressing and suggestive situations
1. Bed Head Mornings

  
_**Corporate Troubles **_

_**Kawaii Chibi Kitty Angel**_

_**Chapter 1: BedHead Mornings **_

Light filtered through the gauzy blue curtains, onto the slender face of a sleeping girl. She lay on her bed, undisturbed, dark chestnut mop of hair sprawled across her eyes, blaring white bandages wrapped carefully in a bundle and placed on the mohagony dresser. The peaceful look on her face was cute, made more adorable by her pale pink lips, gently spread.  
  
It was a picture-perfect moment, the very epiphany of a Saturday morning.  
  
Unfortunately, it wasn't Saturday.  
  
(BRRRRRRIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGG!!!!!!)  
  
Seto Kaiba bolted up in bed, cobalt blue eyes flashing immediately open. Clutching one hand to her head, she smashed the other down on the snooze button of the clock.  
  
'STUPIDALARMCLOCKGOTTAKILLITNOWDONWANNAGOTOSCHOOLGODDAMMITWHYME???!!!!!!!!!!!!!' She thought in an incoherent stream, falling out of bed in an incredibly unladylike fashion, and swearing bluntly.  
  
"Seto? Are you okay?" From the doorway, Mokuba gave her a concerned look.  
  
"I'm fine, Mokuba-chan," she said, ressuring him, "Just a bad morning...." Groaning, she climbed to her feet painfully, and hobbled ever-so gracefully to the bathroom, snagging her clothes from on top of her dresser along the way.  
  
"Don't forget to rebind the binding, Onee-san!" Mokuba called worriedly.  
  
She sighed. 'Today is NOT a good day....'

* * *

Oh yes, today was _DEFINATELY_ not a good day.  
  
Sitting in class, Seto peered over her novel at a certain blonde sitting in the second row, where the teacher could keep an eye on him. He was currently laughing flusteredly, scratching the back of his head with one hand as Yugi teased him lightly about not having a girlfriend.  
  
'His face is so.. flushed. Cute, puppy.' she thought amusedly. 'Real cute.'  
  
"Hey, Kaiba! What're you looking at?" Jounouchi challenged, glaring. "Thinking of how nice it would be to actually have real friends, not just a company, a mansion, and a laptop?"  
  
Seto stuck her nose in the Air. "Watch it, inu... Hasn't Yugi taught his puppy not dig holes that he can't get out of?" She smirked, cobalt eyes flashing. "Or are you too busy burying bones to listen?"  
  
"Fuck you!"  
  
Jounouchi lunged at her.  
  
Dodging quickly to the side, smirking, she tripped him deftly. "Watch your mouth, inu." She purred. Turning on her heel, she stalked away.  
  
Jounouchi glared after her, pushing himself up from the floor. Sitting crosslegged where he had fallen, he began a strenious- and somewhat bored- examination of his fingernails, pretending not to have heard a word Kaiba had said. 'Why is he such an ass?!' He thought angrily. 'It's like he's afraid of having a life. I mean, the only person who acted so distant and remote like that was Ryou-kun- but he had a reason. His Yami- his secret-'  
  
Jounouchi's head shot up.  
  
'...secret'

* * *


	2. I Know Your Secret!

_**Corporate Troubles**_

_**Kawaii Chibi Kitty Angel **_

_**Chapter 2: I Know Your Secret!**_

Seto strode down the hallway, not caring that class was not yet over. She found it amusing- very amusing- that she had managed to fool everyone in her life, except Mokuba, into believing that she was a guy.  
  
It was very amusing indeed.  
  
However, there were times when Seto (A.N- Funny name for a girl) saw fit to dress herself as her own gender to get away from the media for a while. Usually when she was stressed, curious, or just plain bored. Such as now.  
  
Slipping into the men's bathroom, she sent a frozen glare to the single boy there- who was (innocently) washing his hands. He gulped and scampered out.  
  
She sighed. 'Aren't there any men in this school who aren't spineless, snivelling, cowards?'  
  
Her mind wandered to Jounouchi. 'Not the most intelligent, yes, but stubborn, feisty, dominating...'  
  
She blinked at her thought, snapping out of her reverie. Dominating?  
  
Shaking her head in confusion, she stepped into the third stall, the one with a prominant 'Out Of Order' sign- which meant 'Out Of Order, We Will Not Fix It'- and clicked the door shut behind her. She pulled a large gray bag from behind the grimy toilet, wrinkling her nose.  
  
'Maybe I should use a janitor's closet', she mused in digust, but quickly and logically ruled it out. One, a janitor's closet would be checked occasionally by the janitor, and two, any old fashioned couples looking for a spot could walk in on her changing.  
  
Either way, busted- Unlikely, but still too risky for her tastes. At least this spot was so gross no one would come in.  
  
She pulled of her somewhat disguised high-heeled boots, quickly shrinking about a foot, and shrugged off her school uniform. The blue and white crumpled to the floor for only a moment before she stuffed them in alongside her female clothes. She removed the white cloth bindings from around her chest carefully, and stuffed them in as well.  
  
"KAIBA! I know you're in here, you dirty rat!" A voice cried angrily, accompanied by the crash of an opening door. Seto bit back a squeak of surprise and quickly climbed onto the toilet seat, simultaniously pulling a bra, red t-shirt, sneakers and jeans from the gray bag.  
  
'Joey.. what the hell's he doing here?' She thought anxiously, struggling into the bra.  
  
"Kaiba? Where the hell are you? I know you're in here- that kid outside told me!" He called, voice lined with annoyance. Kaiba, growing steadily more nervous, fought to get the jeans up her legs without getting off the toilet.  
  
'Crap.. crap..crap..' She moaned mentally.  
  
"I know your secret, Seto Kaiba!" Jounouchi called triumphantly.  
  
Our poor CEO, le half-dressed femme Kaiba, froze.  
  
'He can't- he doesn't- it's not POSSIBLE!' She denied, eyes going wide with shock.  
  
"You like MEN!" He cried insultingly, a triumphant smirk in his voice. Boots pounded on the floor. The door creaked rustily.  
  
She nearly died trying to contain the laughter that shook her thin frame. 'You know, technically the mutt's right!' She snickered, 'I DO like men.'  
  
Pulling on the t-shirt with newly relaxed ease, she wiped a hand across the back of her mouth to remove the makeup that made her lips look masculinely pale. she shook her mane vigorously, allowing every strand fall into a nicer, more natural way. At this, she stepped out of the stall, sure the creak of the door she had heard was Jounouchi leaving.  
  
He was still there.  
  
Her eyes widened. 'Oooh shit...'

* * *

Ryou Bakura sat beside her Yami, smiling a little. (A/N: You have to have read A TwoPair Of Brown Eyes to get why he's a girl.)  
  
Bakura looked at her curiously. "What?"  
  
The white haired female laughed, and placed a finger to her temple. "You know Kaiba-san?"  
  
Bakura nodded confusedly, tilting his head to look at her better. "Yeah?"  
  
"She's like me."  
  
Bakura stared at his hikari for a moment, uncomprehending, but soon enough he caught the meaning in her sentence. Understanding dawned in his eyes.  
  
"Holy shit..."

* * *

Kaiba gulped as Jounouchi looked at her in surprise, anxiously dreading his response to her arrival.  
  
"Why are you in the boys' bathroom... uh.... Miss?"  
  
She gaped.  
  
'How stupid do you get, inu?' She wondered, relieved. Using her best acting skills, which were very good, considering she had been living in a constant roleplay of CEO manager to female unknown, she arranged her face into a confused expression.  
  
"This is the Mens?" She asked in her natural voice- a smooth, high-ish soprano.  
  
Jounouchi glanced at her clothes, and smiled at her warmly. "Not from this school, are you?" He asked. "Hi, I'm Jounouchi."  
  
The scamming brunette gave him a sugary-sweet smile. 'I can do this...' "Jounouchi? Hello... my name's Celine..." She cringed inwardly at the name, but kept up her perfect facade.  
  
Jouncouchi scratched the back of his head nervously. "Uhh.. did you see a guy come in here? Brown hair, really tall?" She nearly snorted at his 'wonderful' description of her, shifting from foot to foot.  
  
"I can't say I have..."  
  
His face fell. "Oh."  
  
She gave him another sugar-sweet smile, thinking just how inconvenient this meeting was. "Well, Jou-kun", 'Celine' said, watching him melt at the fond-sounding nickname, "I'd better be off."  
  
At that, she pushed out the door, sighing with relief.  
  
And bumped into someone.  
  
"Oof- Hey!" Looking up, she trailed off her complaint.  
  
Ushio stood before her, smirking devilishly, hall-monitor clip hanging shining eerily in the orangey lights. "Visitors have to be occampanied by a student, girl", He rumbled.  
  
Just as she opened her mouth to speak, a voice spoke from behind her.  
  
"She's with me, Ushio-san- I'm escorting her around the school."  
  
Seto winced.  
  
'Crap.'

* * *


	3. Er,,, It's Not What You Think?

_**Corporate Troubles  
  
Kawaii Chibi Kitty Angel  
  
Chapter 3: Er... It's Not What You Think?**_

'Celine', the beautiful, full-lipped brunette, gave a tiny moan as Ushio's smirked slid from his face, and as he left.  
  
'Crap... crap... crap...'  
  
Jounouchi put his hand on her shoulder comfortingly. "It's okay, Celine-chan- he can't get you in trouble any more..." He said kindly, looking at Seto with concerned eyes.  
  
Seto forced a weak smile on her face, mind racing for an excuse to get away from him. "Er- Jou-kun- um..." She was on the werge of panic- every possible root of exit was blocked, every escape plan thwarted. She was stuck.  
  
"Hey, hey! It's okay! Did he freak you out a bit?" He asked, laughing a little. "..Not that I blame you. Ushio's a freaky guy."  
  
She sighed, and nodded. "Thank you, Jou-kun..." The brunette straightened up, biting back a frustrated- and somewhat deranged- scream. 'I'm stuck with a DOG!' She moaned mentally.  
  
Jounouchi smiled warmly at her. "Do you want me to show you around? We only have an hour or so of school time left," The blonde boy questioned gingerly, pretty amber eyes shining with mute adoration.  
  
"Of course, Jou-kun..." She said sweetly, hating herself for this.  
  
"Er- would you like to see the cafeteria? It's kinda dirty... but the food is alright. Greasy, but alright." He said, leading her by the hand.  
  
She bit back a snort of laughter. 'So Jou. So, incredibly, Jounouchi.' She thought, shaking her head a little. Jounouchi looked back at her warmly.  
  
"Thinking, Celine-chan?" His smile glowed with warmth and puppy-ish adoration. 'Celine-chan' felt her heart skip a beat.  
  
"NONONONONONONOTHAPPENINGTOMENOCANTTHINKTHISNOOOOO!!!!!!!!!' She told herself hysterically. 'I DO NOT fall for mutts! He may not- Damn, his ass is nice....' She winced.  
  
Jounouchi gave her a concerned look, and tugged her forward a bit. "Celine-chan? Are you alright?" He asked worriedly. "Do you feel sick?" Despite her feeble protests, he placed the back of his hand against her forehead.  
  
'Damn you for being so sweet...' She growled. "I'm fine, Jou-kun. Just a little dizzy."  
  
Nevertheless, he began to fuss over her, insisting she drink some water, and keeping an eye on her at all times as they walked towards the cafetorium. She suspected that his eyes weren't exactly staying at her face.

* * *

Jounouchi bustled around the cafeteria, showing her each and every aspect of the filthy place. She spent the entire time staring forward and nodding. The blonde didn't notice.  
  
'Man... Is food all he thinka about?' She whined mentally. 'Come on, Puppy, look at me! I'm not listening to you- notice it! Offer to do something interesting! I didn't get changed in a disgusting bathroom just to be led around like a lost kitten!'  
  
Jounouchi turned to her. "Oh- I'm sorry... Am I boring you?"  
  
Seto blinked. 'Someone up there loves me.' "Not at all, Jou-kun! It's just...we have a cafeteria at my school too.." She said, scratching the back of her head in an almost sheepish looking gesture. Kaiba smirked at her own acting skills.  
  
"Oh, of course! Come on- let's go, then. We only have-" He checked his watch. "-Ten minutes left, alright?"  
  
She smiled and nodded. "I can make it through this yet..." Came her soft mumble.  
  
Jounouchi looked at her curiously. "Huh?"  
  
The brunette mentally slapped herself. "Nothing, nothing Jou-kun! I'm just mumbling!" She said in a panic-edged voice. 'I can't let him figure me out!'  
  
For perhaps the first time in his life, Jounouchi Katsuya's stubbornness flared against a woman.  
  
"No, really, I'd like to know? Do you not like being around me?"  
  
Gulping, Kaiba turned away quickly, only to find that the pup had stepped in front of her.  
  
"Erp-"  
  
"Really." He said solidly. in a moment, his face dissolved into an expression of extreme curiousity. "You look familiar... have I met you before now?"  
  
'Oh shiiiiiiiit.....' She groaned, hanging her head.  
  
Jounouchi's eyes widened.  
  
She sighed a little. 'Ah, well. He'll probably get it wrong anyway.'  
  
"KAIBA?"  
  
Her head snapped up.  
  
"Er... It's not what you think?"

* * *


	4. For Safety, You're F&cked

_**Corporate Troubles  
  
Kawaii Chibi Kitty Angel  
  
Chapter 4: For Safety- You're Fucked.**_

Seto stared at Jounouchi. Jounouchi stared at Seto.  
  
The blonde's cheeks turned bright pink. "Y- y- you're a GIRL? KAIBA?!"  
  
The newly unveiled Seto Kaiba clapped her hand over the 'puppy's' mouth quickly. "What the hell do you think you're doing? Do yo want everyone to know I'm a girl?! Imagine the paparazzi's delight......." She gave a tiny, groan dropping her hand. Jounouchi only continued staring at the beautiful, blue-eyed brunette, confusion and total shock evident on his features.  
  
"B- but- why?" He asked flabbergastedly. His large amber eyes were as wide as saucers with shock.  
  
Seto rolled her eyes exasperatedly. "Why should I explain my actions to you, Mutt?"  
  
She regretted the words as soon as they left her mouth. Jou snapped out of his shock like someone snapped with a rolled up wet towel.  
  
"HEY! I know your damned secret, remember?" He snapped at her angrily, lips pulled in an animalistic snarl. "I could tell anyone at any time I wanted!"  
  
As the brunette's cobalt eyes took on a slightly crazed gleam, Jou found that Kaiba wasn't the only one regretting their words. Kaiba grabbed his arm with hands like pincers. "That's right! You could tell anyone at any moment!"  
  
Jounouchi looked at her with widening, confused eyes. It wasn't like Kaiba to give up... not now, not ever. So she had to be up to something.  
  
"You live in a tiny apartment with your dad, right?" She asked, cold, calm surface falling into place. It was official- she was up to something.  
  
He nodded a little, cowed by the manic look in those ice chip eyes.  
  
She smirked. "I have a deal for you, Mutt, and you're going to take it, whether you like it, or not."  
  
Jounouchi's eyes widened and then narrowed with rage. "Why should I, Kaiba? What do YOU have to use against me?" He growled.  
  
Seto grabbed him by the bridge of his nose, and pulled his face uncomfortably upwards. "Look, puppy, to make sure that you don't do anything stupid, you're going to come live with ME. Not only will that save you the trouble of paying the toll for the bus everyday, seeing as I'm closer, I'll pay off your father's debts. In return, you don't tell anyone. Got it?" She growled.  
  
Jounouchi yanked away, cheeks colouring. "B-but I have a job downtown- I have t pay my rent-"  
  
"You can find another job in the area, Mutt, or, if you're REALLY lucky, I'll let you babysit Mokuba." She smirked, turning to leave. As she began to stroll away from the flabbergasted boy, she shot a final comment over her shoulder. "Tell your father you're moving in with a friend, and pack your bags. I'll send someone to pick you up at six."  
  
Jounouchi just gaped.

* * *

"But how did you KNOW, Ryou?" Bakura asked doggedly, trailing the ivory-haired femme. She rolled her eyes. "You know the guys bathroom?"  
  
"Yeah......"  
  
She grinned. "Earlier this year, I was just coming out of a stall- I mean, it would look weird if I walked into the girls' bathroom, right? So, anyway, just as I'm coming out of the stall, Kaiba comes in, looking really stressed. He slips into the 'Out Of Order' stall, and I hear rustling." Ryou said clearly, for her odd Yami.  
  
He nodded. "Go on?"  
  
"Anyway, I don't want to piss him off, so I stay put, just peeking out of the last stall, and out of the 'Out Of Order' stall comes this beautiful, tall blue-eyed brunette. That's when I knew- I mean, having dressed as a guy nearly all my life, I could easily tell that she was Kaiba. I knew a male Kaiba would never dress as a girl, so she must be a woman." She finished.  
  
Bakura whistled. "Jesus... who would of thought it?"  
  
Ryou cocked her head. "Judging by the rather surprised yell I just heard from the cafeteria, not Jou."

* * *

6:05  
  
"Christ- She's going to kill me!" A rather frantic Jounouchi moaned, clutching his meager possessions desperately, and bolting out the main doors of the apartment building.  
  
"You're late, Mutt."  
  
Jounouchi's head snapped up to stare at the chestnut haired 'male' leaning on the hood of a rental, dressed in a baseball hat, a black T-shirt, and casual jeans. Kaiba smirked at him cattishly.  
  
"K- Kaiba?! I thought you said you'd send someone to pick me up..."  
  
She smirked again, a tiny look of sardonic amusement creeping across her lips. "I wanted to make sure you didn't go 'chicken' on me."

He looked down at the rental. What's with the rental, and the clothes? Lowering yourself to out level, Rich-Bo- er... Girl?"  
  
Seto laughed and rolled her eyes, motioning for Jounouchi to climb in. "I don't want to be seen picking up a guy in a bad part of downtown- Do you have any idea how much reporters would squeal over that?" She asked, exasperated at his blatant cluelessness.  
  
'It's actually kinda cute.. his totally blank and innocent approach on life...' Her eyes widened as she realized what had just run through her head. 'NO!'  
  
Jounouchi's voice broke into her- er, rather strange thoughts. "Are you old enough to drive, anway?"  
  
She grinned at him malicously. "No."  
  
His face turned a shade of light grayish-white.

* * *

Jounouchi staggered out of the rental behind a calmly walking Seto Kaiba.  
  
"I... am.... NEVER... doing... that.... again..." He gasped, knuckles still white from clinging to the dashboard. Kaiba just smirked a little.  
  
"Leave your stuff, the servants will get it. Oh yes, and try not scare Mokuba with your face?"  
  
Jounouchi bristled as a high voice hailed them excitedly.  
  
"Nee-san! Jounouchi-chan! What are you doing here?"  
  
Mokuba- speak of the devil- came bolting out of the house, black hair bouncing as he ran up and gave his older sister a spine-crushing hug. Her eyes softened, and her lips turned up in a little smile.  
  
"He's staying with us for a while, Mokuba-kun. Try not to kill him, okay, kiddo?"  
  
Mokuba looked from his sister to Jounouchi, and then back to his sister.  
  
"I KNEW YOU TWO WOULD GET TOGETHER SOMEDAY!"  
  
Seto choked with surprise.

* * *


	5. Innocent, My Ass

_**Corporate Troubles  
  
Kawaii Chibi Kitty Angel  
  
Chapter 5: Innocent, My Ass**_

Mokuba grinned at the two gaping teens sweetly. 'Hm.... Nee-sama doesn't know what she's in for...' A tiny smirk twitched up the corner of his mouth.  
  
"Mokuba-kun! We're not together- I mean- Eww...." Kaiba said quickly, rubbing her arms in mock disgust. Jounouchi looked reproachfully at her.  
  
"Are you saying there's something wrong with me, Kaiba-CHAN?" He asked sarcastically, the fact that the suffix was no longer insulting lost on him. "At least I'm not a cross-dresser."  
  
Seto glared at Jounouchi coldly. "Well, Mutt, for a crossdresser, I seem to have done considerably better than you, ne?" She asked cattily, raising an eyebrow mockingly. Jounouchi bristled, and pulled his lips back from his teeth in a growl.  
  
"Jounouchi-san! Nee-sama! Do you two ever stop fighting? You make such a cute couple when you do, though," Mokuba asked exasperatedly, placing his hands on his hips and wagging his finger in front of Jounouchi's nose. The blonde looked down at him cluelessly.  
  
"Uh- no?"  
  
Mokuba rolled his eyes. "Come on, I'll show you around. Is that okay, Nee-sama?"  
  
"It's wonderful, Mokuba-kun. Don't get him lost, though- I don't want a stray wandering my halls." Smirking, she turned and stalked inside.  
  
Jounouchi was shaking with rage. Mokuba was shaking with laughter. 'Oh, Nee-sama... You have no idea how much you're going to regret that...'  
  
A huge, wicked smile spread across his cheeks.

* * *

"Ryou..."  
  
"Bakura. No."  
  
Ryou glared at her Yami, who was currently inches from her, with his arms wrapped tightly around her waist. "You're not going to get me with that again, Bakura no hentai. I'm NOT going to let you seduce me into this."  
  
Bakura's face broke into a large, evil smile.  
  
"That's what you think, hikari..."

* * *

Jounouchi carried his possessions with one hand, heading towards where Mokuba had said his bedroom was. The hallway in which he stood was lavishly decorated, carpeted with lush blue carpets, royal blue sponging over paler blue on the walls, and the occasional masterpeice work of art that looked like it was worth millions. Gently pushing open the door to his room, he slipped in backwards.  
  
'Nice... But what is her obsession with silver and blue?' He wondered, looking around curiously.  
  
The room was spacious with silver wall-papering, wall-to-wall navy carpeting, a large four poster bed, and a window with gauzy blue curtains. Looking over, he admired the mohagany dresser and bedtable appreciatively.  
  
"Woah... Kaiba sure does splurge, doesn't she?" He murmured, staring up at the high ceiling.  
  
On his left, a door handle gleamed intriguing in the fading sunlight. Turning, he walked towards it, and reached for it. 'What could this be? A closet?'  
  
The doorhandle turned with a click as he reached for it.  
  
He blinked.  
  
She blinked.  
  
Seto stood in front of him, steam roiling lightly from behind her, a fluffy towel wrapped loosely around her torso and hips. Her hair was soaked and tucked lighly behind her ears, in soft, but attractively messy straggles. The colour in Jounouchi's face began to rise. "Uh- um- I didn't mean to-"  
  
"HENTAI!!!!!!!!" She shrieked, face going red as she slapped him across the face.  
  
Unfortunately, this caused her to release the towel...  
  
...which dropped to the floor.

* * *


	6. Life With The Kaibas, Part 1

_**Corporate Troubles  
  
Kawaii Chibi Kitty Angel  
  
Chapter 6: Life With The Kaibas, Part 1**_

Jounouchi's jaw dropped along with the towel, his face going a shade of red that would make the vain queen of watermelons envy him more than her stepdaughter, Rederella (A/N. So sorry... had to put that in! XD).  
  
Seto Kaiba was completely, totally stark naked. Her extremely feminine curves had condensation from the stream running slowly over them, and her face had heated like an oven. Backing up slowly, like one in a trance, she stepped back in the bathroom, and closed the door. Jounouchi stared at the towel on the ground, slowly pushing his jaw up with one finger. He walked stiffly out of the room, running into the door before opening it.  
  
A scream of rage came from inside the bathroom as Seto finally came to her senses.  
  
"JOUNOUCHI, YOU HENTAI BAKA!!!!!!!!!"

* * *

Mokuba was rocking back and forth in his bedroom with laughter, tears streaming down his cheeks. "Oh, Nee-sama- heeheehe......."  
  
"I warned you, big sister!"

* * *

The afore-mentioned blonde was a bit too busy running for his life to her the soft laughter of the boy, as he was being persued by a female who would have had Satan terrified that she'd attempt to usurp him.  
  
"IEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!" He screamed effeminately, running desperately from the now dressed girl. Which, frankly, wasn't surprising, considering she was now carrying the oak shower rod from the bathroom, which weighed a good fifty pounds. "DON'T KILL ME!!!!"  
  
Seto Kaiba raced after him, not in the slightest bit surprised that she had learned how to weild an oaken shower rod in the mere three seconds it took for her lightly muscular arms to savagely rip it out of the wall.  
  
"HENTAI!!!!!!!!" She shreeched, sounding like a rabid amazon that had been fed black coffee and some of Kristen's (A/N. A friend of mine) special recipe wormtinnies, who's main ingredient, unsurprisingly, was sugar. "I'LL RIP YOUR BALLS OFF!!!!"  
  
Needless to say, this statement did nothing to pacify the pure terror coursing through Jounouchis veins, and, instead, caused him to emit a womanish noise not unlike the sound of a strangled cat. Dashing down the halls the speed of unrefined fear, the boy ran with his hands tossed in the air at a speed that offended light to no end.  
  
Unfortunately, he discovered to his 'light bemusement', that wasn't enough- incidentally, around the same time Kaibe jumped on him and began to claw at his face with talon like hand. Also, incidentally, around the same time a small foot peeked out from a door and tripped him, sending the predator and prey rolling down the hall.  
  
Fortunately for our rather unfortunate blonde, he landed on right on top of something very soft, and very, very angry. It was at this realization that he realized that it was not very fortunate at all. It was also at this realization that he realized that unless the very angry 'something' got her perky little ass up first, his leg was trapped underneath her thigh.  
  
It was also at this realization that his face turned scarlet at the realization that his face was buried in he rather ample bosom of the 'something'... and that this 'something' was quivering was bridled rage. He squeaked, and raised his head to stare into the cobalt eyes of the 'something' that was planning his death, a plan in which involved many shiny and sharp objects, perhaps hiring Bakura to help- or, even better, Ryou when she was PMSing. A rather deranged grin snuck across her face.  
  
Jounouchi immediately decided that he didn't like that grin very much. Not very much at all.  
  
Acting on the immediate intinct preserved for not to getting killed by angry cross-dresser CEOs, he immediately grabbed the wrists of the rabid female and held them above her head so that she couldn't kill him... using her hands. Growling, she squirmed.  
  
"I swear, Jounouchi, I will personally maim you for this, you sick, ecchi, idiotic BAKA!" She snarled, shoving her face close to his. He blushed and quickly used his free leg to pin down her strong one, which was making threatening gestures toward his pelvic area.  
  
Because he didn't want to hurt his host and provoke her more, resulting in his death, Jounouchi attempted to remove his weight from her leg.  
  
Which caused him to lose balance, unfortunately.  
  
Which, in turn caused him to accidently pin the girl against the floor, and, because he had a hold of her wrists and could not catch his balance, caused his lips to mesh against hers.  
  
Jounouchi's eyes widened.

* * *

"Are you sure this is such a good idea, Yami?" Ryou asked impatiently. "They could be busy."  
  
Bakura gave an incredibly perverted- and incredibly sexy- smile, nuzzling Ryou's hair for the umpteenth time that night. "Hmm.... I wonder what they could be busy at, eh?"  
  
Ryou smacked him. "Hentai. I can't believe you persuaded me to do this." She said grumpily.  
  
The white-haired tombrobber's smile grew devious. "It took some very persuasive action, Ryou-chan... a little 'bribery'?"  
  
Ryou's face turned crimson, and she smacked him, again, for the umpteenth time that night.  
  
"Let's just get this over with. But, remember, this is all your fault if we get caught."  
  
He snorted, wide-eyed. "Heeey!! Why me?"  
  
Ryou's smirk rivalled Kaiba's.  
  
"Because, Bakura, everything's your fault. Get used to it."

* * *


	7. Life With The Kaibas, Part 2

_**Corporate Troubles**_

_**Kawaii Chibi Kitty Angel**_

_**Chapter 7: Life With The Kaibas, Part 2**_

Kaiba's eyes widened as her lips meshed against the surprisingly soft lips of her guests, momentarily shocked, then livid. Giving an angry yowl, she shoved him hard upward with her hands, which had been released because of the shock of the blonde boy.

Jounouchi's lips parted from hers, but her didn't move away. For a moment, he simply looked at her, eye slightly hooded, mouth slightly open. A quiver danced down her spine.

"...Jounouchi?" She said uncertainly, blushing at his proximity. She became painfully aware of his weight straddling her hips, and his soft, hot panting breaths on her face. She flushed a colour that would have look splendid on the walls.

Unexpectedly, one of his hands- which, as I mention before, were now free- curled around the back of her neck. She stroked a long finger up the side of her neck, his amber orbs shifting to the supple flesh there and back to her full, virgin lips.

"Jounouchi?!" She asked, thoroughly freaked out by his new change of mood. She pushed up against, fully aware the lean, packed muscle she was pushing against.

'_Oh Kami, he shouldn't be looking that hot to me...' _She moaned mentally. _'But it feels so good to have him so close...' _She began to sweat profusely, gulping and attempting to shift away.

His face hovered closer to hers, and she squeezed her eyes shut, knowing it was irrelevant, but doing it anyway. The blonde puppy's mouth hovered next to her ear, and she squirmed uncharacteristically. _'I've never had to deal with this before.... how do I react? How do I escape?'_

"Seto-chan..." A low purr came in her ear. He bit down on the bridge of her ear playfully, teeth feeling slightly pointed against her tender flesh. She bit back a moan, and squeezed her eyes tighter shut.

'_I should be giving him hell for this... I should be beating his ass to death with that shower rod... Kami-sama, he's not going to try to molest me, is he?' _

She felt soft pressure on her lips, and the squeeze of teeth on her bottom lip. Her eyes flew open with a muffled yelp. "J- Jounouchi?!" He gave a low purr, and ground his hips against her own. She bit back a pained moan.

"Woah..."

"Ha! See, Ryou, I was right! They are... eh-heh, '_busy'_."

Jounouchi's head flew up, and he looked, scarlet-faced, at the two white-haired intruders. One, a fiendishly grinning Yami, was holding a polaroid camera that currently printing out a very incriminating picture- a Jounouchi kissing a Seto passionately, and pinning her to her hallway floor.

Seto took her opportunity to punch Jounouchi in the face.

Very hard.

* * *

Ryou watched as Kaiba took her opportunity to punch Jounouchi so hard that he fell unconscious. She chuckled quietly.

"I know, I got a lot of that macho crap from Bakura when he first found out I'm a girl," She said sympathetically, helping the battered, bruised, and very pissed off CEO to her feet, "Oh, and by the way, this was all Bakura's idea. He seduced me into it."

For one brief moment, Seto looked as if she was about to ask about Bakura 'seducing' Ryou into it, but one look at Bakura's fiendishly grinning face dissuaded her. She growled at him.

"Give me that picture, Bakura no baka, and I might not hurt you..." She threatened. He gave a cocky grin.

"You, little girl?" He smirked. "You're probably not even as strong as Ryou-koi." Ryou blushed at the nickname, and smacked him... yet again.

Seto picked up her fifty pound oaken shower curtain rod, and glowered at him. "Maybe not... but I have _this_."

He paled, and scrambled out the doorway, screaming bloody murder, and was chased by angry cross-dressing CEO, who too, was screaming bloody murder, though in a more literal sense.

Ryou sighed, and massaged her forehead, looking down at the slightly crumpled, extremely incriminating picture her yami had shoved in her hand. A wry little smile twisted her cheeks, and she strode, unstopped, through the door, and out the gates.

"It would've happened someday, Kaiba-san..." She murmured. "Might as well go down with a nice, big, bang. Like my microwave. Damn you, Bakura, damn you."

* * *


	8. Life With The Kaibas, Part 3

_**Corporate Troubles**_

_**Kawaii Chibi Kitty Angel**_

_**Chapter 8: Life With The Kaibas, Part Three**_

Seto's face went the colour of soured milk as she held a newspaper in shaking hands.

"J- J- JOUNOUCHI-BAKAYAROU!"

On the front page of the paper was, quite noticeably, the picture Bakura had taken of them the day before. Her mouth hung open like that of a broke marionette's as she stared at the more than slightly provocative picture. Jounouchi's hips were crushed against her own, his teeth biting down on her lips aggressively, her herself, shirt slightly ridden up- funny how she hadn't noticed that at the time- eyes wide and startled.

And worst of all, there was absolutely no mistaking the two lumps in the front of her shirt.

The headline read-

_Seto Kaiba-_

_The Legendary, The Blrilliant, The Face That Everyone Knows-_

_A Woman?_

_And also, a hidden lover too?_

Photo Published by Bakura Ryou

(A3- _A Woman?_

A4- _The Lover_- _Domino's very own Jounouchi Katusya?_)

Her eye twitched violently as she began to shiver violently.

Jounouchi walked out into the kitchen's, looking sleepy in a pair of loose jeans as he scratched his head beneath a mop of tousled blonde hair. "Wha-a-at?" He yawned.

She shoved the newspaper in his face. "_That_." Her voice came out as an angry growl.

Jounouchi blinked, only mildly surprised. "Hey, we're in the paper!"

She punched him.

* * *

Bakura, for all practical reasons, was killing himself laughing over the newspaper on the table. "Oh Ra, Ryou!" He cackled, clinging to her to stop from fall over. "You have _no _idea how much I love you right now!" He literally fell to the floor in a renewed bout of laughter as he let go of her sleeve, doubling over with tears streaming down his pale cheeks.

Ryou grinned, pulling up a chair and setting her coffee down on the coaster beside the paper. "I think I do, Bakura... I think I do."

* * *

Mokuba giggled helplessly as he peered through the floor-grate down into the kitchen.

"I sh-should get Ryou and Bakura to help me with this," he laughed, then paused. "Hm... actually that's not such a bad idea..."

* * *

Seto shook Jounouchi roughly. "AAAAARGH! You don't get word I'm saying, do you, makeinu?!" She yelled. "My entire cover is ruined because of that white-haired femme-boy!"

Jounouchi blinked and pushed her away slightly. "Femme-boy..?" he asked blankly.

Seto's eye twitched. "Ryou, you baka!"

She started in surprise as the blonde began to shake with laughter. "Baka yourself, Kaiba! Ryou _is_ a girl!"

Seto gawked.

* * *

"Let me get this straight..." Bakura said cynically to the black-haired kid across the table from him. "You want _us_ to help you set your sister up with Jounouchi?"

Mokuba nodded eagerly. "Hai!"

"What's in it for us?"

Mokuba's face became a cheshire cat smile. "The honour of being able to prove to my nee-san that everything she's ever said about Jounouchi-san is wrong, and getting to watch her have to own up to that?"

Ryou smiled. "You have a deal, gaki."

* * *


	9. Busted, Busted, Busted

_Kawaii Chibi Kitty Angel: -worships reviewers- I'm SO sorry I took so long! I was having difficulties in the motivationally area. Forgive me?_

_**Corporate Troubles**_

_**Kawaii Chibi Kitty Angel**_

_**Chapter 9:**_

_**Busted, Busted, Busted**_

Seto glowered at Jounouchi menacingly and pressed herself back against the wall. "No, no, NO," She said harshly, hissing at him through her teeth. Her nightgown was slipping off her shoulder tentatively, exposing an expanse of golden Japanese flesh. Jounouchi grinned at her disarmingly and brandished the uniform in his hands at her.

"Kaiba, school's in twenty minutes- and everyone knows that you're a girl now. So why don't you just suck it up and wear the uniform?" He coaxed, brandishing his ex-girlfriend's uniform- which would be considerably snug around Seto's well-endowed torso, and too loose around her slender hips. "Besides, I took your other one, so it's this or go naked."

The expression on the brown-haired woman's face was furiously angry, so much so that she was nearly foaming at the mouth. "JOUNOUCHI-BAKAYAROU!" She screamed, dodging away from him. "Keep that damned thing away from me!"

Jounouchi gave her a level stare, eyes drifting up and down her appraisingly. "Would you like me to help you?" He asked sweetly. She gawked. And gawked. And gawked. And finally, when it seemed that flies were about to land in her mouth, and Jounouchi's eye was twitching with impatience, he walked forward and poked her in the head savagely.

"Huh?" She said, startled for a moment. Then recognition dawned. "IEEEEE, ECCHIIIIIIIIIIII!" She screamed, attempting to leap away as he tripped her neatly and sat on her back.

"Hold still!" He grunted in exertion, ignoring her protests at his action. She screamed at the unwanted contact of skin upon skin, the violation of her personal-

Hold it. It's not what you think.

Jounouchi tickled the CEO of Kaiba Corp savagely, eyes glittering with amusement as her face turned purple with exertion and she fought between cussing at him and helpless laughter.

"Baka... heehee... YAROU! Fuck you... EEEEK! ...Jounouchi-dobe!" She squirmed beneath him, all too aware of the heavy weight on her back, and the skilful probings of the fingers that found ways to get under her arms, to her sides and to her neck. She was also becoming aware that not only was he tickling her, he was slowly getting her out of her short into the skimpy top of the school uniform. "I can dress myself!" She gasped, and rolled savagely, reversing their positions.

It was then that she realized that the top was not done up, her pants were around her ankles and that she was lying, half-naked, with a very young male.

Her hair brushed his cheek, just below his wide, startled honey-coloured eyes- falcon eyes, she thought. A steady blush was creeping up his neck as he slowly registered what was happening. Seto flushed hotly, opened her mouth to say something, stopped, and leaned forward slightly.

Jounouchi was lost as to the proceedings, but knew very well that she wasn't beating the shit out of him, so something very weird was happening. He looked over to the side, momentarily distracted by a loud thumping across the hall.

Seto bit his ear lightly, and playfully drew her tongue along the outer bridge of his ear, chuckling a little as he gasped, and turned his falcon eyes back on her. _'If anyone's going to be doing the seducing, it's me,'_ she thought smugly, feeling quite distinctly beneath her hips exactly _how_ much he was seduced.

A wicked little grin spread across her lips, and she licked his cheek, feeling him tense all over.

"K- K- Kaiba?" He gasped, jerking away, and attempting to rise into a sitting position. She put both hands on his chest, and pushed him back down with a yelp. "We- I- You- School!"

"Aww... We can miss one day, can't we, Jono-kun?" She whispered into his ear, pushing up his shirt with a cold hand. He yelped again, abdomen tensing beneath her fingertips. His a hesitant sort of questioning, his hands came up and rested on her hips. Her lips curled up in amusement.

A loud cough came from the doorway.

Mokuba Kaiba stood in the door, one eyebrow raised, tapping his foot lightly as he examined them with great amusement. "Um, Onee-san- am I interrupting something?"

Were he not in a very precarious position, Jounouchi felt he could have laughed at the utterly exposed and horrified look on Kaiba's face. As it was, he felt no such need- especially since she sat up suddenly and began to fuss with her clothes, in the meantime crushing his ribs tightly with her knees.

"Kaiba!" He gasped, half-choked. "Off! OFF!" He grabbed her shoulders frantically, and flipped her off of him, gulping air as the pressure on his ribs was released.

"Whoops!" She said sweetly, by now totally dressed- _'In the uniform, too_', he thought sourly. Her eyes glittered malignantly.

"Ha-dee fucking **HA**," He said hoarsely, and glowered at her.

* * *

Jounouchi was deeply unamused. Very deeply unamused.

The sight that greeted his not-so triumphant return to school was the grinning, knowing faces of peers, friends, enemies, and even teachers. Not only that, it had also somehow become known that he was living with the famous, now-female, Seto Kaiba.

"For the last time, I am not sleeping with her!" He cried frustratedly, and blew out his breath like a horse when their smiles suddenly became even more sunny.

"Ri-ight..." Honda gleefully chirped, slapping him on the back. "We all saw the picture, man! Nice going with that one."

Jounouchi slapped his face with one hand and groaned. "No, no, no! It's not what you all think!" Gritting his teeth, he snatched at his knapsack, which cheerfully came apart at the seams and spilled his books, writing utensils, comics, and-

...Underwear?

He gawked at the pair of bright blue panties caught on a ring of his English binder, going white, then purple.

Countless faces turned to him, grinning.

* * *

"So, you free on Saturday?" Otogi asked, sneaking an arm around her shoulders. "Jounouchi-inu doesn't have to know about it..."

Seto Kaiba's eye twitched uncontrollably, and she had the aching desire to disembowel every male in a five mile vicinity. "Get. Your. Hands. Off. Of. Me." She gritted, shredding a piece of paper mercilessly to keep from strangling him. "I don't like you. I never will. Fuck off."

"Come on, babe!" He responded smoothly, but withdrew his arm, obviously wary. "You know I'm way smoother then that baka!"

She looked at him with a fierce glare. "I don't like him either, so why the hell would I like you, scumbag?"

Otogi winced.

"Furthermore, why in Kami-sama's name are you being so damned precocious? You only found out I'm female less then twenty-four hours ago! Besides, I'm more partial to men, thank you," She seethed, shoving him away from her and slumping in her desk moodily. She was going to kill Jounouchi when she next saw him...

A shadow cast itself across her desk, and she looked back, scowling.

A grinning multitude of faces happily presented her a pair of bright blue panties. She blinked.

"JOUNOUCHI!"


	10. Blue Babies, Little Brothers, And Little

_**Corporate Troubles**_

_**Kawaii Chibi Kitty Angel**_

_**Chapter 10: Blue Babies, Little Brothers, and Little Miss Conspiracy**_

Murder, murder, murder. The words currently being chanted in the lovely brunette head of miss Seto Kaiba, who's bright, sapphire blue panties were currently being hung from a dozen pairs of hands inches in front of her nose. Seto was on the verge of homicide.

"Jounouchi Katsuya..." She growled, rising fro her desk like with the infamous, recently forgotten expression of 'Death to You All, and Have A Nice Day' that was the Seto Kaiba trademark. It was time for the main populace to be re-educated. Starting with a blonde-haired makeinu who's death was imminent. "**_Explain_**."

Jounouchi swallowed, edging backwards against the seething, now-silent masses. _'Well, at least my tombstone can say 'I beat you in the human race- with a little help from Seto Kaiba.' Who am I kidding? I'm going to die!_' He began to stammer wildly. "M-me! I did n-nothing!"

"Smooth, Jounouchi," Honda said cynically from behind him. "You want me to engrave _'I beat you in the human race- with a little help from Seto Kaiba'_ on your tombstone?"

Jounouchi glared at him as best he could without turning his back on his death-bringer 'lover'. "Look, K-Kaiba-san," He stuttered, thinking it best not to irk her further- contrary to popular belief, Jounouchi did think. Just not very often. "All I did was open my book- and then- then there was- those- I mean, I didn't take them, but-"

Seto paused in her murderous advance around her desk, and stared at him for a heartbeat, then crunched her eyes closed with a growl.

"I'll kill the Gaki, little brother or no," she hissed, and stalked past Jounouchi with her head slung forward like a snake's.

Jounouchi, still sensing danger, but now to the 'Gaki', groaned and bolted out after her, ignoring the excited murmurs of classmates.

He forgot the panties on Seto's desk. Otogi quietly pocketed them.

Ryou boxed Bakura peevedly, smashing him in the side of the head. Bakura grinned wickedly, and pulled her onto his lap. Ryou was, most definitely, not pleased.

"Bakura, bakayarou, makeinu, IDIOT! Why, why, fucking, me?" She yowled, and squirmed, and slumped back against him at long last, delicate nostrils flaring in annoyance. She squeaked as a tiny smirk crept onto Bakura's face.

"No. No smiling! No, no, no, no- What are you up to!" She squawked, and squirmed again. Bakura's smile grew even wider, and she glared at him viciously. "Nuh-uh."

Bakura kissed her lightly in the crook of her neck. "Oh, come on... she won't kill him. And don't be too concerned by those two bakas- prancing around each other."

"Prancing around each other," Ryou grumbled. "Going, 'Lalalalala! Not listening!' and then practically molesting each other. Kind of like we used to." She smirked slightly at the thought. Her white-haired Yami laughed breathily onto her neck, and she writhed, going pink.

"Nuh-uh! Uh... Nyerp?"

Just as this small interjection was about to draw to a close, an eclecticly dressed, wildly grinning... purple-haired... girl slammed into the Bakura household.

Ryou and Bakura stared.

Mokuba, for lack of a better word, hid. He buried himself as deep as he possibly could in the heap of junk in his room- which was significantly large- when he heard the angry yowl of his rapidly approaching older sister. _'Crapcrapcrapcrapcrapitycrap! I told them nto to act without warning me!'_ He thought hurriedly, and held perfectly still, blind of half-deaf in the pile, barely breathing. His door slammed open.

"MOKUBA!" He winced.

"Hey... hey..." A softer, almost pleading voice said, and he peeked out from the pile. He saw Seto groan, and sit down hastily on his bed as though exhausted. Quietly, warily, Jounouchi came up behind her and began to knead and massage her tense shoulders- inexpertly, but well-enough. "Leave the kid be... I mean, he's just looking for your attention, Kaiba-san."

Seto grunted. "Don't call me that."

"What?" The blonde was quite obviously startled, and he ceased kneading for a moment in surprise.

"Don't call me Kaiba-san. I'm not an old woman." She said crossly. "Just Seto."

Jounouchi made a soft, soothingly affirmative sound, and, very carehully, as if he were handling live wires, slid his arms around her waist and curled her back against him. To his surprise- Mokuba could tell quite clearly that he was surprised by the slightly stupid expression on his face- she leaned back against him languorously. Gently, he began to trace small patterns on his expose stomach, and he lips quirked upwards softly.

"Don't fall asleep on me," He murmured to her in a cross-sounding voice, but his mouth was curled up playfully.

Mokuba smiled mischievously and looked down at bent knees, shifting, only to snap his head back up again at a small squawk.

What happened was this- Seto had taken hold of one of Jounouchi's hands, and gently bitten into the side of it, causing great alarm. Then, alarming him further- though now as to _her_ health- began to silently kiss the underside of his wrist along his arm. Jounouchi's face was scarlet.

Mokuba grinned.

"Who, THE FUCK, are _you_!" Ryou yowled, staring wildly at the intruder.

"L. M. Conspiracy, at your service, ma'am!" She chirped, and then, quite cheerfully, kissed Ryou soundly, leaving her gape-mouthed, wide-eyed, and speechless.

L. M. Conspiracy- Little Miss Conspiracy- was tall, slender, had a lovely, engaging face, long purple-red hair, and the most psychotically frightening grin Ryou had seen- more so than Bakura's, which was quite an achievement. "I'm here to help you with Jono-Jono-kun!"

Bakura turned to Ryou slowly. "Jono-Jono-kun...?"

Ryou shrugged helplessly and silently.


End file.
